Off to Vegas! Off to Vegas!

intl strip, originally uploaded by missmartha.

This picture was taken on the first trip with my digital camera. Where is that darn thing??? I can't wait for family vacation; I leave tomorrow! I'm so nostalgic about Tennessee trip, it was great! I love having the whole family together and it will be great to celebrate my dad's 60th. The Saturday after Thanksgiving I will fly to meet Jillian and check in on Mama and Papa Hammer :)

Happy birthday, Bahia!!!

I'd like to post some things that I am thankful for pre-thanksgiving in case I don't get online again:
Health, a job, my education, quiet moments to read or post, my mom, my dad, my sisters, my brother, my partner, my girlfriends, good food, cultural outings, my opportunities to travel - adventure - explore, zumba, my mentors and God.

Welcome, Jillian Clare Hammer!

I love you and I can't wait to hold you!

five year anniversary

bridge, originally uploaded by missmartha.

November marks the 5 year anniversary of keeping a blog. One thing that I like to do at the beginning of each month is hit the archive area of my blog and see what posts I've made this same month in previous years. The blog has always been a way for me to journal and record as much as a published place for friends to stay in touch. It is fun for me to do a same/different comparison of my situation 5 years ago when I started the blog compared to author missmartha's life in November 2009. Some details:
THEN ---> NOW
Living in Chicago ---> Living in Baltimore
4 roommates ---> 1 roommate
Living in so-so hood, recently mugged on street ---> Roommate recently mugged in foyer
Closet that isn't big enough to properly hang clothing ---> ditto
$320 rent ---> $500 rent
Recently started working for "snail soap rope" ---> today is 3 y anniversary at "alpha indigo papa tango"
Thankful for employment after moving to the city unemployed ---> Thankful for employment in economic crisis and through layoffs
Work with wonderful people, sustained ---> ditto
1.5 hour commute via public transportation --> 30 min. commute via car (miss public option)
Live near B in Chicago, the rest of the family is in Champaign ---> Family split between Champaign and SF Bay area. I'm here on the east coast
In love with D, just spent a blissful first summer together. Kinda bringing my own depression and disfunction into the relationship ---> In love with C, just spent a blissful first summer together. Constantly astounded by the stable sanity that we both bring to the partnership.
Trying to figure out what to do next with my life --> ditto
Feeling financially insecure ---> ditto
Feeling blessed for all that I receive ---> ditto
Confused about religious identity ---> clarity and closeness to God
Halloween costume: Sailor ---> Halloween costume: Zebra
Interested by marriage. Curiously watching friends start this part of their life ---> more interested in healthy partnership. No longer buying the marriage fairytale.
Often too tired to post as much as I would like ---> ditto
Healthy ---> ditto

What happened in between the two? Some of it is on this blog. Much of it will fade with time. It has all been glorious or pathetic. I'm very thankful for the good people and good luck in my life. I feel a certain malaise when faced with the thought of "is this as good as it gets??" I write, I heal, I celebrate. I hope to go 5 more years and CAN NOT image the major shifts to occur during that period.

When trust is broken, I remember how much I TRUST MYSELF! When I feel tired of it all, I remember those that LIFT ME UP! {not pictured here: Meg, Angie, May, Debbie, Ivy, Alexis, Jessica, Bonnie, Ake, Emily, Erin, Chuck, Caroline, Connie, Mom, Dad, Sugeet, Tara, Rebecca, Shelby, Maria, Nate, Anne...every angel that has ever graced my life}

*

perfect thematic love birdie candles, originally uploaded by missmartha.

*I've just now had the time to write a bit about the Quinlan-Muriello wedding. I wrote a long post detailing every moment of the weekend, only to have it disappear from my screen. My sister has been married almost 2 months now and the time that has followed has been jammed for both of us. Instead of the play-by-play I originally wrote, I will just say that the weekend was perfect, the ceremony moving, the celebrations festive and the couple a delight. Now the young Muriellos have arrived to their new home in Northern California and set up fort very far from me! boooooo.

I hope to have more time to write about June/July, but do want to say thanks to everyone who has kept me in their prayers recently. No time for posting, only healing, resting and reflection on what the hell it all means.

Bahia & Dan June 13 2009

, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

Bahia:
I think that out of all of the precious gems that you have given me through the growth of our relationship, out of all of the enumerable virtues that you bring to us, the one that I love the most, the one that I appreciate constantly, the one that embodies your presence and gives me exactly what I need most, is your ability to blanket me in calmness and assurance. You truly set my soul at ease. Marriage will be work, we both know that, but you bring a unique perspective to our life's tests and trials that makes me feel like no matter what, everything will be OK. Because of your patience and understanding and strength I know that I have found an ideal partner in marriage. I can't think of anyone better than you, Dan, who I want to walk down this path with. The tests will be many, the growth will be profound. Best of all, you'll be by my side, forever. Right now, in this moment, in front of all of our family and friends, I want to thank you for making it so easy to love you.

Bahia & Dan June 13 2009

Bahia & Dan, originally uploaded by liza-bean.

Dan:
My Bahia, my love. I never imagined that I would share a love as deep, and as true, as with you.
In a note you once wrote to me, you said that loving me made you feel complete. When I read that, I couldn't remember feeling happier. Knowing that I was that crucial puzzle piece in your life made me feel like my puzzle had finally come together as well.
You have brought an indescribable sweetness and joy to each of our days together. It's difficult to think of where I would be right now without you.
Bahia, I long to see you smile, to hear you laugh, and to look into your eyes. I wait patiently to come home to you at the end of the day with the anticipation of a sailor out to sea, dreaming of coming home to his family.
I've cherished every moment we've spent together. Whether it be our last breath of wakefulness, or the first spark of morning, when we find each others cheerful eyes meeting one another yet again.
We've built a love which has withstood more than its share of distance and complication, only to emerge stronger and more beautiful than anything else I have ever known.
It was once written that "happiness is the longing for repetition." I think we both know exactly what that means.
My Bahia, my love, you are the answer to so many dreams I never dared to dream.
You are the bright, brilliant, light of my life.