Last night we tried once again to get on the same page in the house. I am thankful that all of my roommates are able to consult and we can come to each other when something is not working for us in the living arrangement. It circled around dishes, mainly, again, and although we came to a unified decision, I am stuck with the comment made by one girl "haven't we had this conversation before? What do we need to do to make it different this time?" For those of you who have lived with me recently, you know that I get disturbed by dirty commons, even if at the same time my room is a virtual disaster zone. Something about dirty dishes, or food in the sink especially sets off a trigger in my that reminds me of my dad's anger whenever he got home from work in the morning to dishes in the sink. I can hear him saying "I shouldn't have to come home to someone else's messssss!!!!!!!!!" and I start to feel the same way and the same anger. All of this drama when I live with mainly clean, mainly respectful, mainly easy to live with girls. I am starting to wonder how much longer I will be able to live in a big house with lots of ladies. This is not how I imagined myself at 23, which brings up a lot of issues of comparing myself to others, being able to let go and release control of the uncontrollable. I feel myself becoming less flexible as the time goes on. What is next for me? I am already asking and I dont even have both feet in chicago yet.
Today I learned that Shanece from Heel to Toe had her son, and that Anna is pregnant! What joy! Here are some other things that are bringing me joy:
~I have a date on friday ~I get paid on friday ~Henrietta is purchased and ready to get seasonal with me, and I will get seasonal with my beloved 'happy family' ~I get to celebrate Bonnie's upcoming wedding this weekend ~david's love and support ~I get to see my whole family this weekend
Part of my problem is that I am too nostagic.