Tuesday, August 15, 2006

ready

I finally feel ready for change. It seems like the last year I was hybernating. I enjoyed it, a lot of quiet time on the futon with tv and sleeping. Now I feel ready to meet new people and try new things. As soon as I started to feel ready, I immediately started meeting nice new people. I am always in awe when faced with the reality that our minds are so powerful!
I have decided that I like to live where it is HOT. I don't think that Chicago is hot enough for me. I know that I have at least one year left here, and then...

I have been accepting independance a lot more. I always prefer to defer to others or fate, but I am accepting my own responsability to myself. One concrete example is my career. I DO NOT have a career-driven desire. I always hoped to do something that I feel makes a difference, but I never cared much about advancement, salary, prestige. When I turned 25 I made myself face the fact that I might be supporting myself for the rest of my life. Coasting along like I am is not enough. I really want to adopt if I remain single, and so in order to reach that goal I have to focus on my career goals to be financially sucessful enough to support 2. I am also promising myself to plan for my future with retirement and other investments (thanks to Megan and Chris and everyone else who is pushing me towards this). That is a short-term goal for the year. I get excited when I think about being independant and the head of my own household, but I get tired when I think about all I will have to do before I can get there.

I really want to have a career where I can use my skill of ENABLER. Liza and I talked about it, and that sounds a lot like social worker or counselor. The thing is that I don't want to study psycology, so... I am still thinking about the other options including Human Resources.

This email has a lot of I I I, which makes me feel self-consious. I promised myself to talk about how I was feeling in the next post and not just talk about updates in my activities and the lives of others, so here!

I feel like I am on the brink of change and development. It is exciting! The funny thing is that I often feel this way. I think it has something to do with my june22 cusp status.

As I am living alone now with no TV and no Netflix (my two biggest opiates), I have been taking solace in reading, cleaning and decorating the new place, music (it has been a long time since...) and Bahia's visit. I know the Bahia's visit and the part about me not being home very much is cheating my get-independance goal, but I am ok with it.

Thanks to everyone who joined up in VA. I love you guys.

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studies have been conducted recently about my generation as a generation of narcissists...this blog is part of that phenomenon :)