No particular order
1. talk about how you just want to get married while repeating over and over that I am so young and I didn't seem so young when you asked me out
2. tell me that your mother only wants you to date Sri Lankans
3. say fuck or fucking
4. tell me that you would like to take me to the Holocaust museum so you can watch my reaction
5. tell me that your boss said you should have gotten lucky with me for the bracelet that I received at your holiday party (which we both knew was a pity date)
6. when I comment "I like to cook", don't say "of course you do because you are from the Midwest." when pushed for clarification, don't add "you know, like in the olden days, people in the Midwest cooked...and like in modern times, people on the East Coast do not."
7. wear a green paisley tie with a green flannel shirt (i don't care if this makes me sound shallow or if it was st. patrick's day!!!)
8. say that you love to watch Little House on the Prairie (i felt so bad for this guy that I actually let him know most women would find that fairly unsexy)
9. glare at me and ask me if I am elderly, pregnant or handicapped in a totally passive aggressive voice when i sit in the spot that gives preference to those groups on the metro (a simple, "let's leave that spot open in case someone needs it" would have sufficed)
10. practically snort and say "OF COURSE" when I ask if we can split the bill (I'm only ASKING because on our first date you INSISTED on paying and said that it was cultural...)
====>bonus list: things not to do on a first date:
++try to hold my hand
++seem to be going in for a goodbye hug and then give me a disgusting kiss on the lips. blehck.
++arrive late (or text me saying that you are late because you are looking for parking when the resto has valet. sigh)
I'm sure that this post makes me sound petty to the casual reader. To my loved ones, you will know that I know that even the worst dates have a silver lining if you can laugh about it later! I try to give people the benefit of the doubt -- and I am sincerely blown away by the lack of social graces in a "wow, people really don't think there is anything wrong with this behavior. interesting" way.
"when you love somebody, bite your tongue, all you get is a mouthful of blood" ~ Fruit Bats